Should we leave friendships from the past IN the past?

When I was a teenager, I had pen pals. That should give you an idea of my age. At that time, we didn't have the internet; you couldn't pick up your phone and text or call someone (without paying massive long-distance costs) anywhere in the world, let alone jump on a screen and talk to them face-to-face. That wasn't even heard of, and yet, the concept would've amazed most of us growing up in the 80s or early 90s. How many times did you want to call your friends but couldn't because it was too expensive? How many times did you have to wait for a letter to show up in your mailbox to get the latest news from friends and family?

Having said that, I wonder what the 80s version of me would think now if I told her that, despite the multiple and reasonably priced forms of communication, no one communicates anymore. In fact, there seems to be a disconnect I didn't notice before the pandemic. I'm not saying it was great before, but compared to 20 or 30 years ago, the difference is massive. I remember having long conversations with friends, sitting around, drinking coffee, or even chatting on the phone for an hour. That was normal. That was back when you really, truly connected with people, knew them, and cared. And you felt like they knew and cared about you.

Now, it's a different story. People don't reach out, and when you reach out to them, some don't even bother to reply. I'm lucky to have a (very small) community of people whom I talk to regularly. But it's small, and even of those people, only a few check in to see what's going on with me.

I asked one of my closest friends for her thoughts on the subject. She spoke of how she's even seeing this with family members and relatives, as a whole. I didn't really consider this because I never had much of a relationship with my relatives, and I only have one family member. In my friend’s case, it was siblings with whom she grew tired of making an effort, noticing it was one-sided. That's terrible. Friends who seem uninterested are bad enough, but family? People who grew up in the same house not speaking is almost unbelievable to me. It's troubling.

Having said that, one-sided or frayed relationships seem to be the norm now, and I don't understand why. Most people I know focus on their family, while friendship....not so much. They may say they don't have the time, but didn't we always make the time in other decades? Why not now?

I guess I just get nostalgic sometimes, and that's no longer normal. I think of people I used to know, work with, party with, and have long cups of coffee with; friendships from years ago. We listened to each other, really listened, but that's disappearing, and I don't feel that's a good thing. It's actually quite sad. And I'm starting to think it's just me who thinks of them because attempts to reach out are often ignored, with only a few exceptions.

Sometimes I feel like there's a complete disconnect with people now. Some blame it on technology, but there are times I wonder if it's all the SRIs combined with manufactured political divides and the pandemic (keep 6 feet apart) mindset that never left us. I never believed in the 6 feet apart rule in the first place, so maybe that's why this particular form of brainwashing didn't work with me. I think technology can be used for good as much as it can be used for evil. It can also be used to stay connected or to distract and cut yourself off from reality.

A lady I know uses Snapchat, and she has one rule that I can appreciate: if you fall to the bottom of her Snapchat chat feed, she deletes you. I don't use the app, but I think I understand and appreciate where she's coming from. If you can't make an effort to stay in her world, then you get the boot. Maybe she's on to something. 

AI is not the answer to customer service

For all the people who think AI will successfully take over for humans, wait until you have to deal with AI rather than a human. Tell me how long it takes before you want to pull your fucking hair out.

After being suspended on Twitter for saying someone needed a kick in the ass (apparently, this is violence, as opposed to the videos with actual violence on the site….) along with the fact that despite subscribing to the blue checkmark for a couple of years, I was essentially invisible despite creating interesting posts (as interesting as anyone else’s posts) I somehow seemed to have less attention than before getting the blue checkmark. 🤷🏻‍♀️ So, the ridiculous 12-hour suspension was kind of the final straw.

I cancelled my membership and attempted to remove my credit card information from the site. It wouldn’t let me. I researched it, tried all the suggestions online, and nothing worked. In fact, am I the only one who follows step-by-step instructions online, only to find that a step either appears to be missing or has somehow changed since the instructions were posted? Anyway, that’s a whole other topic.

I finally messaged Twitter through their help section. I received an AI response that provided me with the same instructions I had already found on the internet, which didn’t work. Then it sent me a link to click on (that also didn’t work). Each time I complained, AI started the reply with ‘I know this is frustrating’, then proceeded to repeat the same instructions all over again 🙄 My favorite part was when AI suggested I resubscribe because I apparently had to do that in order to delete my credit card. Nothing ass end backwards about that, is there?

Also, don’t bother to point this out to AI because it has a logic all its own.

Of course, all of this took much longer than it sounds. I made multiple attempts, researched online, and finally messaged Twitter for help, over the course of a few days, because I didn’t have time or interest in dedicating an entire day to this nonsense. I ended up cancelling my credit card (where I also had to go through AI before getting a real person) because if I was having all this hassle with this simple task, what would happen if they started to charge me again, or if their system was hacked?

So, if people think AI is the answer to everything, think again.

Then again, as I say about everything else these days, is this all on purpose?

Can you trust your counselor?

I glanced over the list of topics that I intend to write about in the upcoming weeks, hoping to find the least controversial, but landed on this one after deciding that everything I wanted to write about was bound to get someone's ire up. Then again, these days, that's not too difficult. We currently live in a victim-mentality-based society, where being offended is not only accepted but encouraged.

However, that's a topic for another day. Literally, I plan to write about that in the future.

Now, back to the topic of counselling.

First of all, this is not to disparage all counselors in every situation. I believe there are times when the right counselor can help someone  in the short term. If you're in counseling for years and years and not necessarily making progress, then I have to question whether or not it's working. And that becomes an even longer conversation about whether this is due to the counselor not being very good, or if it's because the counselee isn't doing the work. And it is work. The entire concept is supposed to be about looking inward, which is necessary, not looking for someone to blame for your problems.

Which leads me to the next comment I'd like to make. If you're going to your weekly/monthly/regular session just to rant about how the world keeps pissing you off, counseling isn't for you. Coffee with a friend might be more helpful. The unfortunate truth is that we live in a world where that doesn't seem to be as common. How many people in your life can you have an uninterrupted (without someone's phone beeping, etc.) conversation with someone who is actually and fully listening?

Stop and think about that for a moment. I'll wait.

Most conversations you have, if not interrupted, may even feel like the other person is waiting for you to finish a sentence, so they can jump in and add something about themselves. 🤷🏻‍♀️ Hey, I know, I've been on both sides of that situation.

But I'm once again getting off topic.

There are also some people who go to a psychiatrist, have a chat, then leave with a prescription in hand. For the record, I've heard a great deal about how SRIs are very difficult to get off of, if one chooses to do so in the future. The even bigger problem is that many people see no harm in staying on them forever, until their meds make them go wonky. However, there have been studies where sometimes these meds make symptoms worse, and it's also reported that they do nothing at all. I’m not sure, I’m not much of a scientist. I do recall a conversation with a young pharmacist years ago, in the timeframe where these drugs became the automatic go-to if you were not necessarily depressed, but not necessarily happy either. He passionately spoke against people taking them, based on studies he had read at that time. And we are talking back in the 90s.

Personally, it's none of my business if someone takes these meds, but I kind of cringe whenever people tell me that they do. But I also hate Big Pharma. That's another conversation for another day.

So, have I ever gone to a counselor? Yes. Have they been helpful? Most have not. I went to one that was somewhat helpful, but when he attempted to tell me that a lot of women's issues stemmed from the patriarchy, I found myself halting and backing up. I questioned this fact, which didn't go well, and that ended the counseling sessions. It also made me step back and wonder if perhaps it was necessarily a good thing to regularly talk to anyone who insists that nothing is my own fault. Whether they blame society, your parents, your ex, your teachers, bosses, or the patriarchy, I'm not sure the blame game is necessarily helpful. Not to suggest everything is your fault either, but there's a point where you probably should consider taking some responsibility for your own life.

I guess my even bigger point is that whether we're talking about counselors, psychologists, doctors of any kind, or any authority figure, for that matter, I think it's always good to step back and look at what they're telling you. In fact, let's widen that net a bit to politicians, the media, and even your own family or friends. I don't care what kind of title someone has; it doesn't mean everything they say is right. If something feels off, question why. When I was told that women act a certain way because of the patriarchy, I had doubts that the specific woman I had issues with acted like a bitch because of the oppression created by men. Sorry. That just didn't pass the sniff test for multiple reasons.

There's a growing belief that counseling sometimes causes more harm than good. The idea is that talking nonstop about yourself actually rehashes your issues and upsets on repeat. That somehow doesn't seem helpful. Actually, I once wrote a blog discussing how I heard (and believed to be true) that depression was often brought on because we think too much about ourselves. The solution for this was to volunteer or actively help others, do something nice for people, or, at the very least, get out of your own way. Someone I know, who's had mental health issues for years, ripped into me about this theory, so I backed off. But I'm not backing off now. I think I was right. There comes a point where brooding over your own life and how it lacks is counterproductive. I'm not a counselor, and I'm not giving medical advice, but I would suggest that doing something to help in your community would benefit us all more than navel-gazing.

In fact, if I were to go back in time to when I was unhappy in my 20s, I would tell myself to get off my ass, go for a walk, drop the birth control pills (which apparently affect women's moods), seriously explore religion, and start eating healthy foods and taking good vitamins. Is that the solution to everything? No, but you'd be surprised how much it does help.

And again, I'm no doctor, and I'm not giving medical advice, but I do have common sense and (as much as I don't want to admit it) decades of life experience. I've read the self-help books, and for the most part, they're all the same. Most don't give you the kick in the ass you need. And frankly, a lot of what makes us unhappy is our disconnection, whether that be with each other or spiritually speaking. I'm not saying religion is the answer to everything, but I believe  we need to feel connected to something bigger than ourselves.

There are times when I've either known or suspected that someone was going to a counselor. How? They tended to put up walls.

As an example, in the past, I’ve worked with people who did their job but never extended themselves in situations where teamwork would be appreciated. How do I know they went to a counselor? Because I've had counselors stress that I'm only at work to do my job, and I had to draw boundaries and not worry about other people or give two fucks once I’m off the clock. I wasn't required to answer the phone if they called me at home, for example, or jump in and offer help, even if something wasn’t part of my precise job title. Which, yes, to a degree is correct, you aren't really required, but sometimes it's necessary if you're part of a team. And being part of a team is what creates bonds. And bonds help create friendships, rather than just a group of strangers working together. And friendships fulfill us, even long after you leave that particular job. And that's one of the reasons why you go to counseling, because you feel a disconnect.

I've also heard of situations where counselors suggested that their clients cut ties with family members. I can see that if your relative abused you, but I've heard it suggested for a lot less. That seems extreme. If you cut ties with someone you might just need to fix a relationship with, then you don't have a bond. If you don't have the bond, then you feel a disconnect, and if you feel a disconnect, then you grow depressed. And if you grow depressed, guess where you go? To a counselor.

See where I'm going with this? I won't even get into the pharmaceutical end of things, but I guess that's a given. Big Pharma benefits from your misery. You could be a lifelong customer.

So, do you trust counselors? Do you trust self-help books and gurus? (whatever the fuck that is) If you're going to your third counseling session and feel better, then maybe it's a yes. If you're rolling in on your third or thirtieth year of counseling, I'm sorry, Suzy, but I think you’re getting on the wrong bus.

Easy come, easy go; are we too much of a throwaway society?

Last night I had a dream that I was somewhere (it kind of reminded me of a school, although I think it was actually supposed to represent a workplace) and there were bags and bags of clothes piled in a room. My automatic reaction was to donate them, but when I went to the bathroom, I returned to find them all removed. That's when two former coworkers of mine (from, like, 100 years ago) popped up and told me they were in someone's way, so they threw them in the garbage. I was furious!

Of course, in real life, I think these guys would have more common sense, but in today's world, I wouldn't bet on it. We've become an 'easy come, easy go' society with regard to material items, and when I think about it now, probably most things. We're equally likely to toss away food, friendships, marriages, jobs, lifestyles...I could go on. Easy come, easy go.

Our ancestors, many who probably didn't have a pot to piss in (literally) would roll in their graves if they saw the amount of waste that people incur these days. Quite frankly, most people over the age of 50 probably feel the same because many of us didn't have a lot growing up, so the idea of throwing out something in good condition on a whim is almost painful. Anytime something goes bad in the fridge, I think of the times I barely had anything in my fridge, those early days in my 20s, when I had my first apartment. I was working a minimum-wage job and trying to pay rent, heat, and electricity, along with other normal expenses. In fact, most of my friends were in the same situation, with some having to rely on food banks. And they all worked at least one job. Nothing was wasted in their homes.

Some people would shrug it off and say we live in a time of plenty. However, there's currently a recession looming (although I would argue it's already here), and with potential wars and tensions in the world, you have to consider that a lot of the products you love aren't necessarily from your own country; therefore, in the right circumstances, they may not always be accessible or reasonably priced. Don't believe me? Remember Covid? Have you bought coffee lately? It may not even be the product itself, but the packaging, fuel taxes, or some small component of the specific item that's adding to the price.

All that aside, I just don't like throwing out anything that someone else can use. I also love shopping secondhand. You never know what you might find. It's fun and often good quality. And I love donating too. I know that even though I might look at something as useless or ugly, it doesn't mean that someone else might not love it. Plus, most places you donate to are also charities. And hey, I know some secondhand shops are pricey, or perhaps the money may not go 100% to charity, but it also provides someone with a job.

And on one last note, I want to comment on something neat I recently saw on Instagram. There are various influencers who demonstrate clever ways to shop a thrift stores for your home, even if it involves some slight alterations. I also stumbled on an account where a lady bought nice, quality items from a second hand store and combined them with cheap items to make a gift. It's amazing how the right combination and a pretty bow can spruce things up! My brain doesn't work that way, so it would look awful if I did it, but some people have a creative eye. My creativity starts and ends with writing, and even that I sometimes question.

So, when you receive all that 'junk' you don't want for Christmas, or find yourself replacing old items, remember that there's a donation bin that you probably pass in your daily travels. 

The state of friendships in 2025

I was stunned to learn that a friend just deleted me on Facebook. Not that this hasn't happened before, I assure you, I piss off a lot of people, but this was someone who decided to delete me after moving away. I suspect I'm not the only one. 

We used to work together. I remember one time she was down and out, I gave her a gift card at Christmas because I thought she could use it. I remember actively looking through job ads when she was trying to find extra work and sending along anything I thought would interest her. I made a point to see her at work before she moved and checked in after the fact to make sure she arrived safely. And then she deleted me from Facebook.

People are strange. During COVID, I learned that it doesn't take much to turn people against you. As a real friend pointed out to me earlier today, people sometimes know exactly who you are (she was specifically referring to having a strong opinion) and have no issue with you until you disagree with them. The pandemic was a big one. But let's leave the COVID snake in the basket for today. That's a topic in itself.

And don't get me wrong. When something of this nature happens to me, I always reflect on whether I've done the same to someone else. And yes, years ago, I was part of a group laid off at my work, and I did delete some former coworkers at that time. Of course, these weren't people with whom I had personal relationships; they were just people I worked with that I kind of thought were dicks anyway. Of them all, only one had ever reached out to me after the fact, and that was to make a slightly insensitive remark (which I can't recall now) that pissed me off. Well, in fairness, she was kind of a dick too, so I guess she also fell in the last category. But that in itself could be another story for another day. In fact, Vancouver itself is another story for another day. And boy, do I want to talk.

But back to the topic at hand. Friendships are a strange thing. When I was a kid, I wanted to be everyone's friend, despite the fact that I wasn't exactly a popular choice. In high school, I had short-term friends, but mostly no friends. I actually felt quite ostracized, even though I wasn't sure what it was back then; it's something I recognized as an adult. I moved to Moncton while still a teenager and was shocked to make lots of friends quickly. After thinking I was a terrible, horrid person who no one wanted to be friends with (or seen with, more accurately. I had some friends who'd talk to me on the phone or in secret, just not in public 🙄) so, imagine my surprise when I made friends everywhere I went. One of my best friends back then was a lady I met at the corner store! We always chatted, and people thought we were sisters. I made friends at every job I had. I made friends at the bars. I made friends with neighbors who started chatting with me as I walked by one day. It was the total opposite of when I lived on PEI, and I'm happy to report that a lot of those people are still my friends. I later moved to Vancouver, and it was the same thing.

Then I moved back to PEI. This island is a different animal altogether. I quickly saw my high school patterns form again. People were friendly, but standoffish, and after awhile, I got standoffish too. I seemed to be seen with different eyes here than in other places. The friendships I have made here tend to be mostly people who aren't from the island or were away from it for long periods of time, so they see the world a bit differently. Locals tend to judge people from the family they come from, or the person they were 40 years ago, that kind of thing. I can't tell you how many times I've heard people talk about 'that bunch' or the 'so and so's (insert family name) in a generalized way, and it's clear that it would take a lot to change your brand once it's been established.

These days, my friend group is small but mighty. Some of my best friends live in NB. I may not talk to them every day, but if I were to visit Moncton tomorrow, they'd welcome me with a warm hug and be sincerely happy to see me. BC is the same. PEI is a different animal, as I said earlier. I have a small group of friends here, and to be honest, most of them would report feeling like they don't fit in with the majority of people here. As I said, there's a standoffish vibe that's unfortunate, but a real thing here.

So the state of friendship in 2025 is back to awkward, like it was when I grew up on the island. But it's fine because with technology, it's easy to keep in touch with people who I know care and know me well. And really, you only need a few of those people. 

Do you know people who play a character? 🎬

Come on! You know at least one fake person. It's someone who appears to be playing a character more than being themselves. They act and just feel inauthentic. You can sense it from them a mile away. Your conversations almost don't make sense because their words don't match what they're actually doing. It's infuriating because you feel like screaming, 'Just be your fucking self!' but you don't; instead you just nod and smile and inwardly roll your eyes.

Not to suggest that I'm holier than thou. When I was younger, there were many times when I attempted to 'fake it till I made it', but quite unsuccessfully, I must add. The point was to act cool and more interesting than I actually was, but that fell flat fast because, as it turns out, acting is exhausting. Also, people just don't believe you. Eventually, you recognize that it's pointless. 

I saw that it was pointless, but I still witness people who continue to think they're fooling the world. 

They aren't. 

I'm not just talking about everyday people; I also mean politicians, influencers, and so-called reality stars. These people can flip as soon as they have an audience. That audience could be on the other side of the camera or the other side of the room; as long as they know that eyes are on them, they jump into their role.

Is this just the acceptable norm now, especially in an age where social media is 24/7? Is it perhaps simply narcissism? Do social pressures cause it to happen? Is this symbolic of mentally unhealthy people? What does this say about the world we live in? Do people feel unaccepted when they're themselves? Do we punish those who are too honest? Too real? It gives you something to think about.

As it turns out, characters aren't limited to fiction. And that's unfortunate. 

I just had a birthday....🎂🎁 and it made me think of this.... 🤨

Last week I had another birthday. What I find interesting about this yearly event, is who pokes their head out to say 'hi', and let you know they're thinking of you, sometimes people you don't expect. I know the people who will go out of their way to reach out, and I also know the people who will dig their heads in the sand. And hey, that's fine. 

Just don't think I don't notice. 😘

Where am I going with this? 

Earlier today as I was cleaning the house, I recalled a birthday many years ago. I was probably in grade 5 or 6 and despite being very unpopular and shy, I invited all the girls in my class to the birthday party. (I would've invited the boys, but I was even less popular with them 🤷🏻‍♀️)  I believe most (if not all) showed up. Everyone had fun. There was food, I'm assuming a cake, lots of screaming kids running around, and that's pretty much all I remember from the event. 

What gets me about it is many years later, long after I moved away and back again, I occasionally see these girls from that particular party. Except probably one, most of them act cold and standoffish. I actually had one go out of her way to avoid me at the local drugstore a few years ago, something someone with me noticed. Others look apprehensive to even say hello. One of which I saw recently at a second-hand store and pretended not to see me until I called out to her. I don't look that different I wouldn't be familiar to this person who was one of my few friends back in the day. Having said that, there's at least one in the group that I see regularly, who's always friendly and chatty, but even there, I sense a distance and I'm not sure why. I'm not saying that I want these people to put me in their Will but isn't it interesting we can't connect on something as innocent as a childhood we shared, even in a small way. It's pretty sad actually.

But that's our world today. I'd like to blame it on the pandemic insanity, but it started before, and I'm not sure why. It's disappointing. I don't write this to complain or do a 'poor me' cause chances are, if I had a conversation with most of these people now, I wouldn't give two fucks to talk to them again, but I do find it strange that people become so cold with age. It's like some people view their life like a business and since they already hired all their staff, they're making it clear to no longer take applications...you know, even if you aren't necessarily applying. 

It's an interesting reflection of our world. And maybe a little disappointing too. 

One of my birthday gifts from a fellow Golden Girls fan!

Politics isn't a team sport 🏈

Giving people advice is almost always a waste of my time. It doesn't matter if the advice is sought or not, whether or not I have valid experiences to back it up, or even if I have the facts behind it because people don't see me as a legitimate source. Perhaps they view me as a flake or wacko; I'm not sure, but they definitely don't think I ever know what I'm talking about, and that's fine; it don't hurt my feelings. I have more productive things to do with my time and energy. 

I bring this up because I also avoid the topic of politics. If you haven't guessed it already, it's for the same reasons I explained in the first paragraph. Not that it matters, because these days, most people bring it up on their own anyway. You could be sitting around a dinner table or standing in a checkout line at the grocery store, and someone will share their opinion with you. And if you disagree, they repeat all the talking points they heard in mainstream media. If you attempt to break down why that's not correct, they grow frustrated because, much like our current politicians, they've only memorized the lines of this play; they didn't actually read the whole thing. 

People on social media are probably the worst. Everything is virtual signaling. They deem it necessary for everyone to know their stand and that they're 'good people' following the 'right' path. I've mentioned this previously. But more and more, politics are starting to feel like a team sport. It's no longer about making positive progress but your 'team' getting another point. In fact, it's as if people are more tied up to their 'team' than they are concerned with the results. So what if people die, families go hungry or become homeless, or if life in general is miserable and hopeless, as long as your 'team' is doing better in the polls or scoring some political point. It's all about rubbing it in your opponent's face. It's like a sporting match, where people trash talk the fans on the other team, except for the stark reality that this isn't a team sport, an irrelevant game, but real life with real consequences and relationships you're never getting back. 

In the end, the test is how we treat each other. We're not going to pass.

It was on purpose 🤷🏻‍♀️

Call me cynical, but a lot of the miseries of the last few years were on purpose. It may not be popular to say so, and those who believe in the good of the world will probably disagree, but unlike them, I'm skeptical of the good of the world. And even more so, I'm wary of governments, corporations, and organizations. It could be incompetence. It could be apathy. But I don't believe that to be true.  To believe that is to still have faith in the world, which I don't. I want to, but I don't.

What am I referring to? What's on purpose? You can fill in the blank. The pandemic. The fallable vaccine. The economy. Inflation. The collapsing healthcare system. I could go on. 

And it's not so much that someone pressed that magic 'fuck the world' button, but that those in positions to do so, turned a blind eye as the first domino was about to fall. After which they shrugged their shoulders and said, 'but it was out of my hands' or 'it was impossible to foresee things turning out this way'. If I saw things turning out those specific ways and other people saw those situations turning out that way, then how could the so-called experts and scholars at the top not see it?

And again, maybe it means that everybody at the top is incompetent and stupid, but if that's the case, why are they at the top? How did we, for example, get so many incompetent politicians who are also surrounded by equally stupid and incompetent people? 

Because it's on purpose. Follow the money. Everyone responsible should be audited and investigated. But you know what? Even if they were found guilty, many wouldn't believe it because we've been told any uncomfortable truths are misinformation. That's if the judges and auditors do an honest assessment in the first place. The rot runs deep.

Because it's all on purpose. 

How to build a government bulldog

Back in the horrid days of Covid (although I'm not sure they ended...) I was astonished by how many people constantly repeated the government talking points. The media, coworkers, strangers, it didn't matter who I was around, I was hearing them parrot all the absurd lines, such as, 'two weeks to flatten the curve' and 'we're all in this together'.

Neither of those things turned out to be true. Still, people ignored this fact. Without realizing it, we entered a boiling-a-frog scenario. You never turn the water up too much right away, but let him enjoy a warm bath first. We know this because the next stage was, 'good people get vaccinated' and 'good people wear masks' (you should check back HERE where I talk about virtual signaling) which turned up the heat on that same frog. Finally, we reached the 'take the fucking vaccine or you'll be ostracized from society!' stage. This is where the frog boils This is the behavior of a tyrants but apparently, if 'health' is the concern (or children) then literally anything can be forced down your throat even if it's not logical.

None of this would've gotten off the ground if people hadn't complied. Not only did they comply, but they quickly became the government's bulldog, screaming at people in checkout lines because they stood too close or cut them out of their lives for not doing what the government wanted. To this day, those same people will justify their actions, claiming it was perfectly acceptable and....normal to act this way, considering the circumstances. All I'm saying is that I'm happy that these same people weren't guards in Nazi camps, during World War 2. They'd later be the same people who'd say, 'I just did what I was told', taking no accountability. If, at this point, you still feel justified being a government bulldog, then you're probably beyond help.

Covid aside, it hasn't stopped, has it? We've seen this again and again in various situations, always involving the government. Yesterday I heard about a 15-year-old kid who sang the American national anthem at a hockey game and was booed by Canadians. Who told us Americans were our enemy?

Oh yes, Trudeau. The same Trudeau who didn't want to deal with potential tariffs so hid under his desk for over a month, then played victim, as he always does. Then he rallied his bulldogs (I feel like someone in history did that.....🤔) and they fell in line. As it's been pointed out on social media, the same people who spit on fellow Canadians during the trucker convoy, now are so pro-Canadian that it hurts. The same people who wanted to get Pfizer tattooed on their face during covid, now want to replace it with a Canadian flag. The same people who were completely happy to see Canadian businesses close down (some, for good) during the pandemic, now want to only shop Canadian. Give me a fucking break.

Just like wearing brand names as a status symbol is considered respectable now, so is being a government bulldog. It's what 'good' people do. Of course, you might want to stop admiring false Gods when you decide to sharpen your teeth. If you're going to pull up your sleeves and fight for someone, make sure the person you're fighting for would do the same for you, and more importantly, are worth it.

Don't f*ck with my friends 🙅🏼‍♀️

Growing up with no siblings, just my mother and me, and minimal connection to other relatives, I've always viewed my friends as family. They've been the people I confided in, who supported me, and in turn, who I support. During the whole Covid nightmare, it was my friends who kept me sane. We helped each other through the dystopian tyranny that we lived under in Canada, which in some ways, hasn't completely ended. (but that's another story for another day)

At any rate, I know who those people are and I also know who those people aren't. My friendships have changed a great deal in the last few years. I can no longer be friends with people who don't support freedom of speech in this country (which is, surprisingly, a lot more common than you think) or people who think it's justifiable to ostracize a portion of society because they didn't want to get a vaccine or even worse, feel they should be punished by not 'following the rules'. Those friendships could be a slippery slope and unfortunately, you might not want to find out as you're sliding into the gates of hell and it's too late to stop. I have no reason to believe this is the kind of person who'll have my back if needed.

This touches on one of the reasons I was prompted to write this blog today. It's also to complain about people's lack of self-control on Facebook. I often offer up my opinions on the site, especially political, to show people what's happening in the world. They can think or believe what they want, I don't care. However, I don't appreciate having my opinion attacked on the app. A reasonable argument is fine, but a full-on attack on my comments is insane. The fact that people feel comfortable doing it is a bit concerning. However, when you attack my friend's comments on a post, that's another story. That's when I'm done. 

I was about to completely go off of Facebook yesterday for that reason. I posted a FACTUAL statement about a politician want-to-be, something I felt people should be aware of and my friend made a comment, then someone else jumped on and attacked her. That was enough for me. The fact that pure hatred is directed toward me or my friends over an opinion is just disgusting. Furthermore, why are people so quick to stand up for politicians? Would the same people stand up for me? And if you don't remember anything else from this post, then remember this: Politicians love it when we fight with each other because we aren't directing anger toward them, and we don't notice the underhanded things they're doing. Why would anyone stand up for a politician or put their complete faith in any of them, I'll never understand. But to fight with someone on Facebook over it?  It's pathetic. 

So, I'm no longer on Facebook. My account is still up because I oversee my writing fan page and deleted almost everything. You see, attacking my friend, was the final straw. My friends are my family. And you don't fuck with my family. 

Don't be loyal to a color

I recently read a fascinating (non-fiction) book that took place about a hundred years ago. Probably the most fascinating thing, however, was the fact that despite all the times people got fucked over by the government, they continued to support the same parties that fucked them over.

Am I being too blunt?

Without getting into too much detail, this family was loyal to one, specific political party. Later in the story, we learn that this particular party completely screwed over the family. Not only did they financially screw them over, they essentially used them up and spit them out. And yet, the family continued to be loyal supporters of the party.

I guess this fact wasn't so surprising to me, considering I see it in real-time in my own century. What surprises me is that people weren't smarter back then, but equally naive as they are now. I always thought people were gullible now for a multitude of reasons including being much more distracted with technology, tied in traffic, and things that wouldn't apply to people in the early 1900s. Having said that, I hesitate to say they're busier now because we are talking about a time when manual labor was much more intense than it is now. You didn't throw the dishes in a dishwasher and clothes in the washing machine and sit your ass down to stare at Facebook for an hour in 1920. 

These days, it shocks me how blindly (and I can't emphasize that word enough) people follow some political leaders and make excuses for them. I mean, I once considered myself a Liberal, then for a short time an NDP, and now I've swung more Conservative and People's Party of Canada because I watch what they're all doing and saying. I don't loyally stick to a party and make excuses for them and pretend I don't see what I don't want to see. And really, that's the problem now. I'm pretty sure these supporters are the same people whose 16-year-old could get high on cocaine, steal their brand-new SUV, and smash into another car, killing a family and they'd make excuses for him. 

Johnny's friends were a bad influence on him. You just don't understand. 

The problem is that the car wreck that's Canadian politics now can't be resolved until everyone admits the truth and make politicians accountable. Maybe even dive in and learn about a topic, rather than automatically accepting the mainstream media spin on things. I don’t give a fuck what side you’re on officially, our country is in trouble. If you want to show your loyalty, show it to Canada. 

Shopping Canadian is not a new concept

With recent discussions about a 25% tariff on products coming to Canada, people have been talking more about shopping for Canadian products. To many people, this isn’t a new concept. Many of us attempted to shop in Canada before any tariff threat. After all, we wanted to support our country, workers, and people. But why does it take a tariff threat to encourage loyalty to our country?

There's been a lot of talk lately about Canadians being discouraged from loving their country. I was brought up to have pride in Canada, to sing our national anthem in school, and to believe we're the greatest country in the world. Is that still the case? Do Canadians still have loyalty to their country? We certainly aren’t encouraged to with our government. And if we step away from that whole can of worms (and it is, once you start digging - a whole other topic for another day) why would we go for the foreign companies and products and not buy from Canada?

It's the price. Many people will tell you that foreign chains are cheaper. Maybe they have different products that are more appealing, but also you have to consider that less manufacturing is done in Canada now.

I remember when I was a teenager, I loved to shop in Moncton, NB. I had the chance to get off the island and see more selection than was available on PEI. One store I often shopped at was Bootlegger and I remember even as a kid, I would check the tags and be happy to see that (at that time) the clothing said 'Made in Canada'. Now my memory may be a bit hazy, after all, it's been a minute, but I'm pretty sure this was a possibility back in the day. Good luck finding that now.

I currently live in a rural area and try to shop in my community as much as possible. If I had a family, perhaps the lure of shopping in a larger area would have more appeal since there would be more mouths to feed on a budget. However, I try to shop for sales (and stock up!), and if I can't find what I want here, I try to shop for Canadian stores online. If I order from Amazon, I buy a gift card at a local store, so they at least get a sale. Maybe it's not much, but it's something. I've researched companies to make sure they're Canadian. And sure, they probably have products made in other countries, but at least I'm helping keep a Canadian business going, keeping their staff working. Having worked retail, I know that does make a difference. No business means no hours.

It takes time and a little research, but in the end, it's worth it.

Do Canadians support Canadian artists? 🎭🎤✍🏼

After publishing my first book in 2010, I bent over backward to get attention for my work. I contacted the media, tried to run ads, attempted to have contests, and offered to have a signing at a large Canadian chain, you name it. I did everything I could think of, but all this was relatively new and quite terrifying to me, but I recognized that I had to at least try. Everything felt like three steps forward, two steps back, and sometimes, it felt the other way around. 

As the years moved forward, I continued to push forward, continued to write, and continued to get frustrated. At a certain point, I decided to just do my thing and make an effort, but I was constantly swimming against the tide. I had some local media (mostly newspapers and a rare CBC radio interview) but it was hard and I didn't know the best strategy. It was like being stuck in quicksand and trying to move ahead. I finally decided to focus on my writing and not stress so much about my success rate. 

It was during those early years a former coworker told me something that struck home. She said her boyfriend was studying journalism and how it was apparently well-known that the industry in Canada didn't support their artist after they found success. Although I was still terribly insecure about my writing skills, something in that statement rang true. And to be honest, in years since, I've heard the same thing repeatedly for Canadian artists. Those powerful enough to help an artist move forward in their career often show no interest until they've found success elsewhere, then consider them 'Canada's own' with a sense of pride. It's kind of a kick in the ass. 

Of course, I'm not talking about the fans. Fans are a whole, different thing. Canadian artists often have a lot of support from those who appreciate their work, although I'd be lying if that was always the case. It sometimes happens that people can also be contrary until the artist has shown success, but overall, I think most people want to see their hometown talent shine through. It's just unfortunate that elitists at the top can't see that.

And just like that, I was back in the 90s again

I was recently captivated by a video that appeared on my Facebook feed from Moncton, New Brunswick in the early 2000s. As a former resident of the city, I'm always interested in vintage videos, images, or stories from the province where I spent most of my youth. The video was probably 5 minutes long and had been recorded from the passenger side of a car, as the cameraperson documented what they were seeing as they drove through the downtown area, from businesses to city landmarks. It brought back memories inspired by locations where I spent time, many of which no longer exist. 

I decided to check out this person's YouTube channel to see what else I could find. Much to my surprise, a cascade of memories pulled me back in time when I saw a video centered on friends from my youth, in the form of a documentary of a band they once were a part of in the 90s. I spent many hours in the house featured in the video, with the residents and others often dropping by, shortly after I moved to Moncton in the 90s. It was the first place I really felt I belonged, with a group of friends that accepted me. And when I started to watch this video, it was as if I were back in time again, walking through that same doorway.

The house itself was large, and old, from a time when homes had character, and with the right amount of TLC, it could've been a beautiful place again. Unfortunately, it had been neglected through the years. It was known as a party house before my friends moved in (in fact, I think they were some of the partiers) and I remember them saying there was a lot of deep cleaning required before anyone would move their worldly possessions in. I vaguely remember posters on the walls, the smell of cigarette smoke surrounding me, and empty Tim Horton cups sitting on the coffee table. And there was always music. Either a guitar being strummed or grunge music being played. In fact, I can't listen to an Alice in Chains song without being reminded of those days, that house, and my friends who lived in it. If walls could talk. 

People were in and out of that house, probably all hours of the night and day. Mostly because the tenants worked all hours, some with more than one job, just to get by but also because a stream of visitors (including myself) was frequent. This was back in the day when people still visited one another before devices became more important than eye contact. None of us knew how lucky we were or how much the world would change. 

Sadly, the changes included death. It was during that time that friends in my youth would start to die, much too young. One of the house's previous tenants, a man who became my friend after calling out 'hello' one day as I passed by, would commit suicide a few years later. I had spent some time with him but to this day, regret not having got to know him better. He was charismatic, friendly, and probably the first person I ever met whose reputation preceded him, for various reasons. He was a fascinating character who could've done a lot with his life. I regret he didn't have the opportunity.

Another friend I made during this time would pass away a few years later after I regretfully lost contact with him. During my early years in Moncton, we had many late-night chats on the phone, while he sat waiting for calls at a pizza delivery service that employed him. He essentially just sat there, waiting for the phone to ring, so he could chat on the phone in between. My friend was perfect for the job with a very smooth, kind voice, which made everyone at ease. When I found the video on YouTube that he was in, it sprung so many memories. Tears were in my eyes when I heard him talking to the camera, that voice I hadn't heard in decades. His easy-going manner, holding a guitar, it was as if time stood still. 

I have so many memories from those days. Friendships that faded for one reason or another, but all are a part of me and always will be.

Drab colors at Christmas? Does fashion reflect our times?

I'm not sure if you noticed it, but the colors are quite drab this season. I'm not saying this as a challenge for you to 'but, what about...' me, but to merely point out what I've noticed from a few retail sites that send me marketing emails regularly: Drab, dreary, dark clothing, ironically during a season most known for bright, vibrant colors. Has anyone else noticed this trend? 

This first got my attention in October when I was actively looking for a robe as a Christmas gift. I prefer shopping Canadian (I plan to make a blog post about this soon) so I went to the various sites that I thought might have something that I had, at the time, considered to be quite simple. I wasn't looking for a robe with a specific and distinct style. I wanted a long, warm robe. I preferred one that was high or reasonable quality, not the kind of garbage you'd buy for $20 at a discount store. I also wanted something with a pretty color. 

All I found were either short robes that barely covered your ass (the gift is for a 70-year-old, so she probably prefers something a little less provocative) or dark, dreary, gross colors. Some were white, which sounds pretty and luxurious until you spill coffee, get a nosebleed, and drop food on it, possibly all on the same day. But that's a whole other story.

That's when I noticed from my various emails that most of the clothing being advertised was depressing colors. Where were the rich red sweaters? The fun, pretty holiday colors? What about the flattering, beautiful dresses and shiny high heels to match? Most of the colors that I'm noticing are tame compared to what I was expecting. Perhaps it has always been this way, and I dreamed up something more, or maybe it's a reflection of our times. 

This brings us to the real question: Does fashion reflect our times? And what does this fashion say about our current times? 

Women's magazines have changed a lot in 100 years 😮

I was recently fortunate to come across a box of magazines from the early 1900s. Being a bit of a nerd (which is a bit of an understatement) I carefully checked out a few editions, intrigued by the changes in what could be found a hundred years ago as opposed to today. The comparison is vast. 

The articles are more practical and less provocative. 

No clickbait articles. There were no attempts to suck you in with bizarre titles and flashy images. The magazine offered common sense ideas and suggestions for readers' homes and lives.  I assure you, there were no articles on sex positions with the flexibility of Gumby or how to make your boobs look massive (while your waist remains 22 inches) in that $7000 designer dress.

The magazine was denser.

Although Modern Priscilla wasn't as thick as today's magazines (granted, they're getting much thinner in the last ten years) it was denser in information. The print was smaller and the articles were longer. Like many things today, I feel like reading a magazine only gives me a small percentage of quality. The watered-down version of a magazine, in comparison. Back then, it would appear that the magazine was more about the articles than the ads, but now....

And speaking of ads...

This older magazine had lots of them, but guess what? They weren't grabbing you by the throat every time you turned a page. Ads in Modern Priscilla were almost discreetly on the side of the pages, not as noticeable, which in a way made them feel more legit than the ads we see today. Most were at the back of the magazine. Many advertisements, like the articles, were practical. They sold you things that made your life better, rather than things that you were told would make your life better. 

Religion was a thing.

I don't recall ever seeing anything about religion in a magazine in my life. This edition spoke of Jesus on page one. I had to go back and reread it because it caught me off guard. I had never seen, expected to see, or heard of a woman's magazine writing about religion in any capacity. Was this just naturally more acceptable at that time?

I haven't read the entire issue yet, but these are the observations I've made so far. I'm anxious to read the issue from cover to cover, to understand the information geared toward women a century ago. Was this what they wanted? Was it simply a much more innocent time? 

I will say that some things never change. Women still like pretty things, want to lose weight, and improve their appearance. I saw ads for 'the prettiest dress I ever had' and another for whitening teeth. I believe there was also an article on picking clothes that were slenderizing. Again, some things never change. 

UPDATE!!!

Found this while rereading the magazine. Can you imagine that today??

Compliance isn't king

Society once told me to be cautious of being too compliant. The music, movies, and television used to suggest that you should question authority. It told us to use critical thinking and, above all, do what felt right. Oh yes, and be yourself. That was a big one. Individuality was essential. Fly your freak flag and all that stuff.

Something I've noticed in recent years is that these old ideologies have changed. At first, I thought my location contributed to this logic. After all, rural PEI doesn't tend to be a big fan of change. But as time moves on, I've noticed it in various aspects of life. I've seen it in other people. There's a general message sent out that not complying means you are an extreme, crazy person that doesn't 'get' how the world work. After all, how often have you been told, 'that's just how things are', and expected to accept it?

There's a definite punishment and reward system that goes along with compliance. If you follow the rules and do as told, people will reward you with a superiority complex or something fun, like a cake. If you don't go along with or question what's going on in the world (either in the general sense or where you live) then others feel justified in insulting you, or in some cases, withholding certain privileges. Like, maybe, taking away your cake or not giving you cake in the first place. This is a way to play the punishment/reward system. Much like when you spray your cat with water if he misbehaves but give him a treat when he's good. In the end, cats follow their nature, even if humans do not. 

One of the most dangerous games is those that are psychological. If something doesn't feel right or someone doesn't seem sincere, chances are your instincts are correct. Trust them. 

One of the reasons I write about a non-compliant, outspoken character called Jorge Hernandez is because I recognize that many people are feeling anger burning beneath the surface, one which they don't feel the ability to express. Hernandez is a character that boldly expresses himself and has no concern for what others think. He doesn't care if he offends anyone. No one puts a muzzle on this fiery Latino. 

So, how about you?