Sunday, July 19, 2015

I bet you think this blog is about you....

Back in the 70s, Carly Simon released a song called ‘You're so Vain’ that told the story of a self-involved ex-boyfriend. The timing kind of makes sense, considering this was the decade that was known as the ‘me generation’. However, I’m not so sure if they even scratched the surface on narcissism, considering we now live in a world where people often spend more time thinking about their next social media post than they do the person sitting beside them at work.

And hey, I’m certainly not saying that I've never lived a narcissistic moment – fixating on my makeup in the morning, reading a text message when I should be giving someone else my full attention or focusing on my writing career rather than checking on my friends – to a certain extent, it is human nature. But at what point is it crossing the line?

I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately and noticed that regardless of what the psychologists say, it isn’t just the ‘millennial’ generation that's self-involved - although, realistically, it wouldn’t be a stretch to expect someone who's relatively young to be wrapped up in themselves, since they are still pretty new at this whole life thing and lets be honest, it can be a little overwhelming to even the most seasoned adult. Then again, isn’t it always easier to pick on ‘the kids’, the teens and twentysomethings and arrogantly roll our eyes with a sense of superiority? Forgetting, of course, it is often the eye-rollers themselves who brought up these ‘thoughtless youth’?

I think it is actually more disturbing when I stumble across someone more advanced in age who sends out the message that they’re the center of the universe, that their experiences and beliefs are the only ones that matter or that their problems are much more concerning than those of say, their neighbor. It happens a lot, often after scoffing at the ‘kids’ out there, they will start rambling on about their latest problem –financial, health, the person that pissed them off at work today – then kindly end the conversation and move on to the next person who’s lucky enough to hear their endless rants. If you do manage to get a word in edgewise to these kind of people, they blankly nod, as if they are waiting for you to shut up, so they can continue talking about themselves again, not really hearing what you are saying or only catching a few words.

‘…..blah blah blah….ok, can we get back to me now….’

I recently had a conversation with an obnoxious relative that insisted that her own perspective of the world was the only one. There was no room in her universe for anyone else’s ideas and it certainly wasn’t something she was about to consider either. She rambled on about how she ‘knew’ for a fact
that heredity was the result of the roll of fat around her middle and that’s just the way it was – her mother had it, her mother’s mother had it, so it was hereditary. It didn’t matter that she watched what she ate, it didn’t matter that she didn’t understand (or have any interest in hearing about) the concept that as we age, our body changes, causing fat to sit on our bellies if we continue with the same habits that from our teens and twenties.

Nope! It was hereditary. Nothing you can do about it and not only was it her destiny, it was apparently mine as well.

“You’re going to get fat and old too.” She sniped at me, as if my slim body were dancing around the room, flaunting my flat stomach in her face. “I’ll see you in twenty years.”
Ah no, bitch. You won’t be seeing me in twenty years.

The point is that sometime we get so caught up in our own egos and being right, that we forget that conversation are supposed to be a two way street, an exchange of ideas and feelings, a way of opening our eyes to a world outside of the one in our own minds. It's not supposed to be a daily 'It's all about me' platform for those in need of validation. Unfortunately, too often it is.

Canadian author Mima is known for her complicated and diverse characters, a dark style and for never shying away from controversial topics. To request an interview or if you are interested in doing a book review, please send requests here  

Mima is the author of Fire and the prequel, A Spark before the Fire, as well as The Rock Star of Vampires  Her Name is Mariah and Different Shades of the Same Color. Join Mima on Facebook, TwitterG+ and Goodreads also, check out her Amazon Author Page

For some reading, check out her blogs – personal or writing

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