Friday, December 19, 2014

What it feels like to be a girl


If you're a woman and happen to have turned the news recently, you might start to question whether or not you’re safe in the world today. At least, that is what crossed my mind recently, after watching (yet) another newscast where women’s issues seemed to be the top story.

Don't get what I'm talking about?


A teenager is raped at a party. Photos are taken and distributed to her peers. She is bullied – literally – to death when she later commits suicide. Her family is still fighting for her rights, just as they always had, but until her death, the local police seemed uninterested in lifting a finger to help.

A Canadian celebrity was recently arrested with four counts of sexual assault and although his employer is said to have been aware of his harassing behavior in the workplace, it was brushed aside. It took the very public voices of a few women – along with a great deal of public outcry – before anything was really done in this situation.

But wait! He’s not the only celebrity who has been in the media for assaulting women. Apparently a famous American comedian is as well and it seems that complaints about his alleged behavior have been ongoing for about…. 20 years or so?

A woman is killed by a man she was said to ‘have a relationship with’ and no one can understand why.

A Maritime university is dealing with several students who made some disturbing, misogynistic posts on a Facebook page.

Honestly, this stuff isn’t new. Bullying is not something new. Teenaged suicide isn’t new. Women that are murdered by their partners also aren’t something new. A celebrity pushing their weight around isn’t new… but why are we hearing about it every night on the news? And more importantly, shouldn’t things be improving not getting worse? Is that a bad sign?


At first, it kind of depressed me. I considered that perhaps women were being sent a message that our rights didn’t matter, but instead were being pushed into a small, cramped corner.

But then something made me change my mind. I recognized the fact that all these concerns were in the media and that some very strong, courageous women were making their voices heard, regardless of any kind of backlash from their community or the dreaded Internet trolls. I recognized that even if these women were being pushed into a corner, discouraged from speaking or being ignored by people in the position of power, they were pushing harder than ever before and not allowing the bullies of the world to win. And for that, I am proud.



Canadian author Mima is known for her complicated and diverse characters, a dark style and for never shying away from controversial topics. To request an interview or if you are interested in doing a book review, please send requests here  


Mima is the author of Fire and the prequel, A Spark before the Fire, as well as The Rock Star of Vampires  Her Name is Mariah and Different Shades of the Same Color. Join Mima on Facebook, TwitterG+ and Goodreads also, check out her Amazon Author Page

For some reading, check out her blogs – personal or writing


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Wednesday, October 15, 2014

The stigma of being single

Earlier this summer, I had a very humorous conversation with an older gentleman. Actually, I was probably the only one laughing over of our chit-chat when he indicated his concern over the fact that I was still single - I mean, still single - he said it in the same tone as he probably would've used when saying words such as antichrist and death.

I mean, you know, they are all kind of the same thing, right?

As it turns out, he had a great deal of concern for my singleness and expressed uneasiness over the fact that I had never married. He was completely perplexed and studied my face for a long time, almost as if he was attempting to find the defect that kept me single.

Slightly insulted, I mostly found the entire conversation fucking hilarious.

At one time, however, I wouldn't have been laughing. From the day I stepped out of high school, I've felt immense pressure to have a boyfriend, 'find a man', or 'settle down' because apparently, that was what I was supposed to do. I was always very confused by this fact because I never really got the impression that any of my guy friends got multiple lectures, hints, and suggestions that there was something 'wrong with them' when they were single.

When I hit my mid-twenties, the pressure only increased. Each time I would return home for a visit, relatives would ask about my love life and meddling questions quickly turned into gentle pressure with comments on how it was 'time' to settle down. I never handled the pressure very well and had a tendency to rebel against anyone who attempted to push their ideas on me. Truth be told, I would hide any relationships I had in order to not be polluted with questions about babies and wedding dates.

Marriage? Kids? At that time, I considered it a trap. All around me, I saw people who I considered way too young to either get married or have kids, running out to buy wedding dresses and maternity clothes. I didn't understand the rush. I questioned whether they wanted marriage or feared to be alone. I wondered if the marriages would work out - many of them didn't.

In my twenties, I partied as often as my body, schedule and finances would allow me to and honestly, the idea of not hitting the town on a Friday or Saturday night seemed like a complete waste of a weekend. In retrospect, it was all an escape.  Entering a surreal world where everyone dressed, acted and were different people from in their real lives seemed like a good idea at the time. Of course, the interesting thing about escapes is that they eventually don't work and real life kicks your ass.

My life has taken a lot of twists and turns since that time and luckily, I never found myself married in my twenties because the results would've been disastrous. The guys I chose back then were often terrible people. Misogynistic, condescending, insecure, self-involved and controlling are just a few words that spring to mind when I visualize the lineup of losers that I picked in those days. Granted, the only reason why I was attracted to or attracting such a herd of defective men is that I was pretty defective myself and had a long ways to go with my own personal evolution.

To a degree, there is a sense of isolation when you're single. A few of my 'suddenly single' buddies have been shocked to discover that sometimes their couple friends will no longer extend social invitations when their status changes. I've had similar experiences as well but didn't really think it was a common issue until a few of my other friends started to make similar complaints. These people have even suggested that sometimes it feels as if the world is 'punishing' them for no longer being part of that mainstream couple world. This wasn't such a surprise to me.

I think that everyone's life is unique. We all have different timelines for different reasons. My life has been about personal growth and learning some tough lessons, all of which is something I feel is essential before tying the knot.


Popular movies and television often leave us with the misconception that until we find out 'soul mate' we are incomplete as a person. This is absolute bullshit. Not only is it not someone else's role to 'complete' us, we are also not 'lacking' because we are not part of a couple. Love is a beautiful thing but only when it's real; not when it's a life raft for those who were already drowning.


Canadian author Mima is known for her complicated and diverse characters, a dark style and for never shying away from controversial topics. To request an interview or if you are interested in doing a book review, please send requests here  


Mima is the author of Fire and the prequel, A Spark before the Fire, as well as The Rock Star of Vampires  Her Name is Mariah and Different Shades of the Same Color. Join Mima on Facebook, TwitterG+ and Goodreads also, check out her Amazon Author Page

For some reading, check out her blogs – personal or writing


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Saturday, September 20, 2014

Come to the island, stay for the...pot?!

Several years ago I had an interesting conversation with a friend of a friend, who felt that the little province of Prince Edward Island should be turned into one, giant pot field. He insisted that it was time to get rid of the 'potato' fields (one of the things PEI is known for) and bring in the 'pot' fields instead, with the argument that it would definitely make this little island prosper beyond its wildest dreams!

Lately, I'm starting to think that some  politicians might just have the same idea. After all, there has to be some logical explanation why politicians (specifically federal) seem to be trying to clean house by encouraging islanders to go 'out west' to the prosperous job market in Alberta, rather than say...I don't know, help create work on the island?

I mean it's like, you know, like way easier and stuff....


In comes my friend's friend solution to the whole problem. Create a "huge ass" pot crop on Prince Edward Island and voila - great paying LOCAL jobs, in fact, the island might actually have people moving back 'home' rather than leaving their friends and families for most of the year. Large homes would spring up, fancy cars would fill the little country roads and people would be happy again. Like, really happy.

Marc Emery, Canada's 'Prince of Pot' could be the 'Prince of Pot Island' and become the new premier. Hey, it might be a step up.

Furthermore, wouldn't it also help bring more tourist dollars to the province? Can't you see it now - t-shirts that say, 'I went to PEI and all I got was..... BAKED' Local businesses could do a whole different kind of 'farm tours' that would give interested parties information on the various cannabis strains, ideal growing conditions and what the hell? Maybe some free samples? Sure, it would bring a different kind of tourist, but honestly, I can think of ten people right off the bat who would be all over this one.

Free concerts in Charlottetown? This is what will really make people 'Come to the island, stay for the party'.



Canadian author Mima is known for her complicated and diverse characters, a dark style and for never shying away from controversial topics. To request an interview or if you are interested in doing a book review, please send requests here  
 

Mima is the author of Fire and the prequel, A Spark before the Fire, as well as The Rock Star of Vampires  Her Name is Mariah and Different Shades of the Same Color. Join Mima on Facebook, TwitterG+ and Goodreads also, check out her Amazon Author Page

For some reading, check out her blogs – personal or writing


Don’t let the fun stop here - sign up for the newsletter!