The state of friendships in 2025

I was stunned to learn that a friend just deleted me on Facebook. Not that this hasn't happened before, I assure you, I piss off a lot of people, but this was someone who decided to delete me after moving away. I suspect I'm not the only one. 

We used to work together. I remember one time she was down and out, I gave her a gift card at Christmas because I thought she could use it. I remember actively looking through job ads when she was trying to find extra work and sending along anything I thought would interest her. I made a point to see her at work before she moved and checked in after the fact to make sure she arrived safely. And then she deleted me from Facebook.

People are strange. During COVID, I learned that it doesn't take much to turn people against you. As a real friend pointed out to me earlier today, people sometimes know exactly who you are (she was specifically referring to having a strong opinion) and have no issue with you until you disagree with them. The pandemic was a big one. But let's leave the COVID snake in the basket for today. That's a topic in itself.

And don't get me wrong. When something of this nature happens to me, I always reflect on whether I've done the same to someone else. And yes, years ago, I was part of a group laid off at my work, and I did delete some former coworkers at that time. Of course, these weren't people with whom I had personal relationships; they were just people I worked with that I kind of thought were dicks anyway. Of them all, only one had ever reached out to me after the fact, and that was to make a slightly insensitive remark (which I can't recall now) that pissed me off. Well, in fairness, she was kind of a dick too, so I guess she also fell in the last category. But that in itself could be another story for another day. In fact, Vancouver itself is another story for another day. And boy, do I want to talk.

But back to the topic at hand. Friendships are a strange thing. When I was a kid, I wanted to be everyone's friend, despite the fact that I wasn't exactly a popular choice. In high school, I had short-term friends, but mostly no friends. I actually felt quite ostracized, even though I wasn't sure what it was back then; it's something I recognized as an adult. I moved to Moncton while still a teenager and was shocked to make lots of friends quickly. After thinking I was a terrible, horrid person who no one wanted to be friends with (or seen with, more accurately. I had some friends who'd talk to me on the phone or in secret, just not in public 🙄) so, imagine my surprise when I made friends everywhere I went. One of my best friends back then was a lady I met at the corner store! We always chatted, and people thought we were sisters. I made friends at every job I had. I made friends at the bars. I made friends with neighbors who started chatting with me as I walked by one day. It was the total opposite of when I lived on PEI, and I'm happy to report that a lot of those people are still my friends. I later moved to Vancouver, and it was the same thing.

Then I moved back to PEI. This island is a different animal altogether. I quickly saw my high school patterns form again. People were friendly, but standoffish, and after awhile, I got standoffish too. I seemed to be seen with different eyes here than in other places. The friendships I have made here tend to be mostly people who aren't from the island or were away from it for long periods of time, so they see the world a bit differently. Locals tend to judge people from the family they come from, or the person they were 40 years ago, that kind of thing. I can't tell you how many times I've heard people talk about 'that bunch' or the 'so and so's (insert family name) in a generalized way, and it's clear that it would take a lot to change your brand once it's been established.

These days, my friend group is small but mighty. Some of my best friends live in NB. I may not talk to them every day, but if I were to visit Moncton tomorrow, they'd welcome me with a warm hug and be sincerely happy to see me. BC is the same. PEI is a different animal, as I said earlier. I have a small group of friends here, and to be honest, most of them would report feeling like they don't fit in with the majority of people here. As I said, there's a standoffish vibe that's unfortunate, but a real thing here.

So the state of friendship in 2025 is back to awkward, like it was when I grew up on the island. But it's fine because with technology, it's easy to keep in touch with people who I know care and know me well. And really, you only need a few of those people. 

Do you know people who play a character? 🎬

Come on! You know at least one fake person. It's someone who appears to be playing a character more than being themselves. They act and just feel inauthentic. You can sense it from them a mile away. Your conversations almost don't make sense because their words don't match what they're actually doing. It's infuriating because you feel like screaming, 'Just be your fucking self!' but you don't; instead you just nod and smile and inwardly roll your eyes.

Not to suggest that I'm holier than thou. When I was younger, there were many times when I attempted to 'fake it till I made it', but quite unsuccessfully, I must add. The point was to act cool and more interesting than I actually was, but that fell flat fast because, as it turns out, acting is exhausting. Also, people just don't believe you. Eventually, you recognize that it's pointless. 

I saw that it was pointless, but I still witness people who continue to think they're fooling the world. 

They aren't. 

I'm not just talking about everyday people; I also mean politicians, influencers, and so-called reality stars. These people can flip as soon as they have an audience. That audience could be on the other side of the camera or the other side of the room; as long as they know that eyes are on them, they jump into their role.

Is this just the acceptable norm now, especially in an age where social media is 24/7? Is it perhaps simply narcissism? Do social pressures cause it to happen? Is this symbolic of mentally unhealthy people? What does this say about the world we live in? Do people feel unaccepted when they're themselves? Do we punish those who are too honest? Too real? It gives you something to think about.

As it turns out, characters aren't limited to fiction. And that's unfortunate. 

I just had a birthday....🎂🎁 and it made me think of this.... 🤨

Last week I had another birthday. What I find interesting about this yearly event, is who pokes their head out to say 'hi', and let you know they're thinking of you, sometimes people you don't expect. I know the people who will go out of their way to reach out, and I also know the people who will dig their heads in the sand. And hey, that's fine. 

Just don't think I don't notice. 😘

Where am I going with this? 

Earlier today as I was cleaning the house, I recalled a birthday many years ago. I was probably in grade 5 or 6 and despite being very unpopular and shy, I invited all the girls in my class to the birthday party. (I would've invited the boys, but I was even less popular with them 🤷🏻‍♀️)  I believe most (if not all) showed up. Everyone had fun. There was food, I'm assuming a cake, lots of screaming kids running around, and that's pretty much all I remember from the event. 

What gets me about it is many years later, long after I moved away and back again, I occasionally see these girls from that particular party. Except probably one, most of them act cold and standoffish. I actually had one go out of her way to avoid me at the local drugstore a few years ago, something someone with me noticed. Others look apprehensive to even say hello. One of which I saw recently at a second-hand store and pretended not to see me until I called out to her. I don't look that different I wouldn't be familiar to this person who was one of my few friends back in the day. Having said that, there's at least one in the group that I see regularly, who's always friendly and chatty, but even there, I sense a distance and I'm not sure why. I'm not saying that I want these people to put me in their Will but isn't it interesting we can't connect on something as innocent as a childhood we shared, even in a small way. It's pretty sad actually.

But that's our world today. I'd like to blame it on the pandemic insanity, but it started before, and I'm not sure why. It's disappointing. I don't write this to complain or do a 'poor me' cause chances are, if I had a conversation with most of these people now, I wouldn't give two fucks to talk to them again, but I do find it strange that people become so cold with age. It's like some people view their life like a business and since they already hired all their staff, they're making it clear to no longer take applications...you know, even if you aren't necessarily applying. 

It's an interesting reflection of our world. And maybe a little disappointing too. 

One of my birthday gifts from a fellow Golden Girls fan!

Politics isn't a team sport 🏈

Giving people advice is almost always a waste of my time. It doesn't matter if the advice is sought or not, whether or not I have valid experiences to back it up, or even if I have the facts behind it because people don't see me as a legitimate source. Perhaps they view me as a flake or wacko; I'm not sure, but they definitely don't think I ever know what I'm talking about, and that's fine; it don't hurt my feelings. I have more productive things to do with my time and energy. 

I bring this up because I also avoid the topic of politics. If you haven't guessed it already, it's for the same reasons I explained in the first paragraph. Not that it matters, because these days, most people bring it up on their own anyway. You could be sitting around a dinner table or standing in a checkout line at the grocery store, and someone will share their opinion with you. And if you disagree, they repeat all the talking points they heard in mainstream media. If you attempt to break down why that's not correct, they grow frustrated because, much like our current politicians, they've only memorized the lines of this play; they didn't actually read the whole thing. 

People on social media are probably the worst. Everything is virtual signaling. They deem it necessary for everyone to know their stand and that they're 'good people' following the 'right' path. I've mentioned this previously. But more and more, politics are starting to feel like a team sport. It's no longer about making positive progress but your 'team' getting another point. In fact, it's as if people are more tied up to their 'team' than they are concerned with the results. So what if people die, families go hungry or become homeless, or if life in general is miserable and hopeless, as long as your 'team' is doing better in the polls or scoring some political point. It's all about rubbing it in your opponent's face. It's like a sporting match, where people trash talk the fans on the other team, except for the stark reality that this isn't a team sport, an irrelevant game, but real life with real consequences and relationships you're never getting back. 

In the end, the test is how we treat each other. We're not going to pass.

It was on purpose 🤷🏻‍♀️

Call me cynical, but a lot of the miseries of the last few years were on purpose. It may not be popular to say so, and those who believe in the good of the world will probably disagree, but unlike them, I'm skeptical of the good of the world. And even more so, I'm wary of governments, corporations, and organizations. It could be incompetence. It could be apathy. But I don't believe that to be true.  To believe that is to still have faith in the world, which I don't. I want to, but I don't.

What am I referring to? What's on purpose? You can fill in the blank. The pandemic. The fallable vaccine. The economy. Inflation. The collapsing healthcare system. I could go on. 

And it's not so much that someone pressed that magic 'fuck the world' button, but that those in positions to do so, turned a blind eye as the first domino was about to fall. After which they shrugged their shoulders and said, 'but it was out of my hands' or 'it was impossible to foresee things turning out this way'. If I saw things turning out those specific ways and other people saw those situations turning out that way, then how could the so-called experts and scholars at the top not see it?

And again, maybe it means that everybody at the top is incompetent and stupid, but if that's the case, why are they at the top? How did we, for example, get so many incompetent politicians who are also surrounded by equally stupid and incompetent people? 

Because it's on purpose. Follow the money. Everyone responsible should be audited and investigated. But you know what? Even if they were found guilty, many wouldn't believe it because we've been told any uncomfortable truths are misinformation. That's if the judges and auditors do an honest assessment in the first place. The rot runs deep.

Because it's all on purpose. 

How to build a government bulldog

Back in the horrid days of Covid (although I'm not sure they ended...) I was astonished by how many people constantly repeated the government talking points. The media, coworkers, strangers, it didn't matter who I was around, I was hearing them parrot all the absurd lines, such as, 'two weeks to flatten the curve' and 'we're all in this together'.

Neither of those things turned out to be true. Still, people ignored this fact. Without realizing it, we entered a boiling-a-frog scenario. You never turn the water up too much right away, but let him enjoy a warm bath first. We know this because the next stage was, 'good people get vaccinated' and 'good people wear masks' (you should check back HERE where I talk about virtual signaling) which turned up the heat on that same frog. Finally, we reached the 'take the fucking vaccine or you'll be ostracized from society!' stage. This is where the frog boils This is the behavior of a tyrants but apparently, if 'health' is the concern (or children) then literally anything can be forced down your throat even if it's not logical.

None of this would've gotten off the ground if people hadn't complied. Not only did they comply, but they quickly became the government's bulldog, screaming at people in checkout lines because they stood too close or cut them out of their lives for not doing what the government wanted. To this day, those same people will justify their actions, claiming it was perfectly acceptable and....normal to act this way, considering the circumstances. All I'm saying is that I'm happy that these same people weren't guards in Nazi camps, during World War 2. They'd later be the same people who'd say, 'I just did what I was told', taking no accountability. If, at this point, you still feel justified being a government bulldog, then you're probably beyond help.

Covid aside, it hasn't stopped, has it? We've seen this again and again in various situations, always involving the government. Yesterday I heard about a 15-year-old kid who sang the American national anthem at a hockey game and was booed by Canadians. Who told us Americans were our enemy?

Oh yes, Trudeau. The same Trudeau who didn't want to deal with potential tariffs so hid under his desk for over a month, then played victim, as he always does. Then he rallied his bulldogs (I feel like someone in history did that.....🤔) and they fell in line. As it's been pointed out on social media, the same people who spit on fellow Canadians during the trucker convoy, now are so pro-Canadian that it hurts. The same people who wanted to get Pfizer tattooed on their face during covid, now want to replace it with a Canadian flag. The same people who were completely happy to see Canadian businesses close down (some, for good) during the pandemic, now want to only shop Canadian. Give me a fucking break.

Just like wearing brand names as a status symbol is considered respectable now, so is being a government bulldog. It's what 'good' people do. Of course, you might want to stop admiring false Gods when you decide to sharpen your teeth. If you're going to pull up your sleeves and fight for someone, make sure the person you're fighting for would do the same for you, and more importantly, are worth it.

Don't f*ck with my friends 🙅🏼‍♀️

Growing up with no siblings, just my mother and me, and minimal connection to other relatives, I've always viewed my friends as family. They've been the people I confided in, who supported me, and in turn, who I support. During the whole Covid nightmare, it was my friends who kept me sane. We helped each other through the dystopian tyranny that we lived under in Canada, which in some ways, hasn't completely ended. (but that's another story for another day)

At any rate, I know who those people are and I also know who those people aren't. My friendships have changed a great deal in the last few years. I can no longer be friends with people who don't support freedom of speech in this country (which is, surprisingly, a lot more common than you think) or people who think it's justifiable to ostracize a portion of society because they didn't want to get a vaccine or even worse, feel they should be punished by not 'following the rules'. Those friendships could be a slippery slope and unfortunately, you might not want to find out as you're sliding into the gates of hell and it's too late to stop. I have no reason to believe this is the kind of person who'll have my back if needed.

This touches on one of the reasons I was prompted to write this blog today. It's also to complain about people's lack of self-control on Facebook. I often offer up my opinions on the site, especially political, to show people what's happening in the world. They can think or believe what they want, I don't care. However, I don't appreciate having my opinion attacked on the app. A reasonable argument is fine, but a full-on attack on my comments is insane. The fact that people feel comfortable doing it is a bit concerning. However, when you attack my friend's comments on a post, that's another story. That's when I'm done. 

I was about to completely go off of Facebook yesterday for that reason. I posted a FACTUAL statement about a politician want-to-be, something I felt people should be aware of and my friend made a comment, then someone else jumped on and attacked her. That was enough for me. The fact that pure hatred is directed toward me or my friends over an opinion is just disgusting. Furthermore, why are people so quick to stand up for politicians? Would the same people stand up for me? And if you don't remember anything else from this post, then remember this: Politicians love it when we fight with each other because we aren't directing anger toward them, and we don't notice the underhanded things they're doing. Why would anyone stand up for a politician or put their complete faith in any of them, I'll never understand. But to fight with someone on Facebook over it?  It's pathetic. 

So, I'm no longer on Facebook. My account is still up because I oversee my writing fan page and deleted almost everything. You see, attacking my friend, was the final straw. My friends are my family. And you don't fuck with my family.