Compliance isn't king

Society once told me to be cautious of being too compliant. The music, movies, and television used to suggest that you should question authority. It told us to use critical thinking and, above all, do what felt right. Oh yes, and be yourself. That was a big one. Individuality was essential. Fly your freak flag and all that stuff.

Something I've noticed in recent years is that these old ideologies have changed. At first, I thought my location contributed to this logic. After all, rural PEI doesn't tend to be a big fan of change. But as time moves on, I've noticed it in various aspects of life. I've seen it in other people. There's a general message sent out that not complying means you are an extreme, crazy person that doesn't 'get' how the world work. After all, how often have you been told, 'that's just how things are', and expected to accept it?

There's a definite punishment and reward system that goes along with compliance. If you follow the rules and do as told, people will reward you with a superiority complex or something fun, like a cake. If you don't go along with or question what's going on in the world (either in the general sense or where you live) then others feel justified in insulting you, or in some cases, withholding certain privileges. Like, maybe, taking away your cake or not giving you cake in the first place. This is a way to play the punishment/reward system. Much like when you spray your cat with water if he misbehaves but give him a treat when he's good. In the end, cats follow their nature, even if humans do not. 

One of the most dangerous games is those that are psychological. If something doesn't feel right or someone doesn't seem sincere, chances are your instincts are correct. Trust them. 

One of the reasons I write about a non-compliant, outspoken character called Jorge Hernandez is because I recognize that many people are feeling anger burning beneath the surface, one which they don't feel the ability to express. Hernandez is a character that boldly expresses himself and has no concern for what others think. He doesn't care if he offends anyone. No one puts a muzzle on this fiery Latino. 

So, how about you? 

Are your expectations too low?

Recently, an ignorant relative of mine made an interesting comment to my mother. She said it was too bad that I never 'made anything out of' my life. I thought that was rather strange, considering I had published 17 books, worked at various jobs, lived in different provinces, and managed to get through life without being arrested, going bankrupt, or becoming an addict. But I quickly realized that she meant that I hadn't gotten married or had kids. Then I remembered how, upon my return to my home province, she was desperately trying to set me up with a random man, even before my foot touched the soil. I thought it was bizarre at the time but later realized that it was because having any man was better than me walking around being single. 

And unfortunately, the longer I live here, the more I feel like that's the case with many things. It doesn't matter if you're talking about jobs, homes, friendships, relationships (apparently), or even businesses. The mentality seems to be that you take what you get and shut up. Take the crumbs thrown your way and be happy. I guess that's why I see so many people who aren't happy and have no intention of extending themselves to do more, be more or have more, and to me, that's sad. 

I'm not saying everyone needs to be rich, married to someone perfect, love their job every second of the day, and live in a mansion. I'm merely saying that it's ok to want more than the crumbs. Although, it appears that in some places, it's ingrained into people's heads that to wish for more is somehow thinking you're too big for your britches. Take what you got and shut the fuck up.

People should know they have value. When people don't think they have value, they take the shit thrown at them and ask for more. This tends to work well for everyone else around you, but maybe not you. And over time, it does wear you down. 

I think 2023 needs to be when people raise their expectations for themselves and others. If you settle, it means you feel powerless, and it's never you who benefits from feeling this way, but it sure makes other people's lives easier.

Does music still have passion?

When I was growing up, music was my life. I think I'm probably in the majority with that statement, but as time moves forward, my relationship with music has changed. I still love the songs I grew up with, the music from high school, and the dance music I associate with my clubbing days, but has anything captured me lately? Am I just getting old, or has the music industry changed?

I notice a common trend for musicians to take a song from 10, 20, or even 30 years ago and make it their own. I'm disappointed when strong songs, which the writer put their heart into, are watered down. It's almost as if all the passion is sucked out of the music, and it just falls flat. I don't want to get into any specific examples, but I'm noticing it more and more. I can't think of the last time I said, "Wow, that's a great remake of that song!" Usually, I'm too busy cringing.

Again, it could be because I'm too old, or maybe bland music reflects our times. Then again, maybe, it's just the music I'm exposed to that's that seems mind-numbing and generic. After all, record labels are going to push what they think they can make money on; they don't particularly care about originality or even talent anymore. And that's not to say there isn't talent out there, but it almost feels like the music that gets the most attention seems to fall flat. 

And again, what do I know? I always followed music trends and what was popular, but I've lost interest in recent years. Most of the music I was hearing wasn't capturing my attention. It seems to have no soul. Then again, maybe I need more exposure to independent music. If you're an indie musician (or know one) who writes music with soul, passion, and with a message, please feel free to post the link below. We need to get this music out. 

I see your true colors shining through

When a family member was diagnosed with cancer a couple of years ago, someone commented to my mother that this would be when she'd recognize her true friends. In reality, a crisis is when those who are the real deal come to support you. On the flip side, it's also when the less committed friends run for the hills. The truth is that a crisis shows you people's true colors, and it's not always flattering shades.

So what happens when there's a worldwide pandemic? Do people support each other? Do they show compassion and understanding? Remember in early 2020 when we heard the phrase 'we're all in this together' thrown around casually? (Although admittedly, it always made me roll my eyes) Isn't it interesting that we never hear it anymore? Why is that? 

Sadly, the last two years have exposed a great deal about human nature. Even more sadly, none of it surprises me. 

The early days of 2020 are when I first decided that this pandemic would show people's true colors, and I was proven right again and again. I saw judgmental people grow very vocal and aggressive in their opinions, while the pretentious glided by with a more intense sense of superiority and self-righteousness. And ignorance went to a whole new level.

    

Not to suggest it's all negative. It was at this time where I discovered who my tribe was and wasn't. Some people are slowly floating out of my life, while others are making a triumphant return. I've reconnected with some amazing people that I had lost touch with and made some new friends. Those relationships are stronger than they ever were before; these are the people who will continue to be in my life. I would do whatever I can, to help and support my tribe.

It's been interesting. I find it fascinating how many are quick to attack others now. Don't assume everybody should or does agree with you and don't assume those who have a different opinion are wrong. Politicians and even celebrities have even jumped in, trying to pit people against one another. Although, I can't understand why anyone would consider either to be a wise role model. 

I'm not sure where empathy, kindness, and decency went, but I'm sad to see them go. I fear that when people discover where they lacked, it might be too late to mend the broken fences.